Loving Two Boys With All I Have Is The Best Decision I Ever Made!!

Max had his first swimming adventure last week. The day before his surgery Paul and I decided he deserved a little fun in the sun before the next few weeks of misery and pain he had coming, so thanks to our friend Sharon we were able to take him swimming for a while he loves the water and had so much fun playing with Daddy.
Here he is just loving life in the water!

Paul was so cute with him, he is such an amazing dad, Max is so lucky! I never thought i would find a man who would be as amazing father as Paul has turned out to be. I love seeing the two of them together and seeing the bond between them, and the look in Paul's eyes when he sees Max. Thanks Grandma Jones for raisng such a wonderful man who is such an amazing dad and husband, oh and for the good looks that got passed down from Paul to Max they are both so Handsome!

We went and bought him this floaty thing with a shade on top so his scar wouldn't get any sun, but it didn't cooperate with the wind and the shade kept falling down then catching the wind and blowing Max across the pool. He looks way cute in it though even if it was a big fat failure.

Mommy and Max! I just can't get over his squishiness i want to squeeze him all day every day!

I am using Max as my shield to protect you all from my not so swimsuit ready sexy body! Be careful girls if your husbands see this picture they may want to come runnin my way so they can see this sexy piece of woman in a bathing suit! Thanks Max for being my armor i think your chubbiness is so much more adorable than my own.

And we are done with the fun and onto the not so fun surgery day :( The morning of Max's Surgery he was the the happiest little boy ever, even happier than normal which if you know Max is hard to imagine, so it made it even harder than usual to let the nurse take him away (isn't that so sad i can use the word usual so casually in a sentence where i am talking about a nurse taking my son away from me, it breaks my heart.) I can't imagine what he was thinking it must be so sad for him with looking back at me bawling my eyes out as the nurse carries him through the double doors ( I am crying just writing this) and he is happy as a clam then he all of the sudden falls asleep and wakes up to me again bawling but now he wakes up to a whole new face and mouth which has to be so incredibly uncomfortable/odd feeling and also painful and feel so different and wierd to him especially with his palate being swollen to 5 times its normal size. He must think is this a nightmare or did my mom & dad really just put me through this and let me fall asleep and wake up in this much pain, and with all of these needles in me and machines hooked up to me, he must think "I thought my mommy loved me so much, so why is this happening to me while she is just standing there watching and doing nothing to help me." I know one day he will understand that Paul and I did this for his benefit and his benefit only so he could lead a normal amazing life and be the wonderful man I know he will become. (p.s. I know that there are a lot worse things out there that parents and children are going through than having a cleft but I just need to get this all out for all to hear (I just read my sisters keeper, these surgeries with Max were hard enough for me i can't imagine going through something like that. If you have not read it I highly reccomend it minus the excessive use of the "F" word) Anyway where I was going with this is that it breaks my heart to put him through this and have him be so sad for a week afterward when he is normally so happy and content, BUT I do know it is for the best.

He loved this Toy and played with it the majority of the morning!

I just love his smile and his "Sweet Spirit"(inside joke) ha ha :) he is the best son ever!

"Dad why are you taking pictures of me in this funny dress you put me in! Last time I wore a dress like this i woke up with a new mouth and so sad, are you up to something?"

I just love this picture his eyes mesmerize me every day they are so stunning and handsome!

This one cracked me up so i couldn't resist putting it up for all to see how adorable he is!

Paul trying to calm Max down. After not eating for 12 hours i would be cranky too!

We finally found something that made him happy after the elmo and cookie monster toy lost its appeal, and he cried from starvation for a bit. He loved this car and being pushed in it he thought he was so fancy and would flirt with the nurses every time we cruised past the nurses station. I think we will buy him one when he is done recovering after all he has been through he deserves it!

Look at my new set of wheels dad!

"Yeah i know Nurse Tammy you totally want a ride! But maybe some other time I would rather take my mom first." (I am creating an illusion for myself that this is what he will say someday when he has to choose between me and a hot nurse to take for a ride in his new car.)

After surgery he was so sad and his mouth was filled with blood for hours on end, he just kept drooling dyed red saliva and crying the saddest wimpering cry ever!

So Sad!

Daddy & Max post surgery Paul is so good with him and is so much more sympathetic and loving than i am. I must take after my mom in the lack of sympathy department. Paul took such good care of him and was so tender & loving with Max, he was by his side consolling him every step of the way while I was an emotional wreck!

Paul fell asleep with him on the couch in Max's room in the peds ICU, they are so adorable and I really hope the old saying "Like father like son" holds true to Paul & Max, that would make me the happiest most lucky mom and wife in the world! P.S. when we got home Paul came down with a horrible case of bronchitis and it was all me in taking care of Max it was rough but Paul was so amazing even being as sick as he was and helped out wherever he could!