Stress Levels are High!!!

As I am sitting here writing this I am thinking wow I need to be doing this and this and this, and then I need to make sure I get this done and what is going to happen in the next year, are Paul and I making the right choices, and the list goes on and on and on, but my thoughts just keep turning to what can I do for my son to help him live a more normal life before all of his surgeries are complete. So this post is to not only relax myself but let off a little steam too. I have so much going on in my life right now, we recently found out Max has to have yet another surgery and he has already had two minor ones this last month. This surgery will not take place until next year around this time but it is to correct his speech and until this surgery is done Max will not be able to make most of his sounds. I am so sad and scared and frustrated for him he is already trying to talk so much and he gets so angry and frustrated when I can't understand him. I can't help but worry what is the next year going to be like, how am I going to get through this, and how is Max going to get through this. I decided to buy some sign language books and DVDs and hopefully we can learn together and be able to communicate that way. He is such a smart kid and tries so hard I can't imagine how he feels when people don't understand him and how hard it must be for him. I wish they could just do the surgery now (I know they have their reasons) and he was able to get on with being a kid and growing up and he didn't have to face all of these trials and challenges in these first few years of life, even if they were more spread out it might be a little easier, but then again maybe not. Sometimes it makes me so angry I think "why does he have to go through all of this so soon?" he is only two and has spent way more than his fair share of time in Dr.'s offices and hospital bed and under anesthesia and being poked and prodded but he is still the best happiest kid I know, he is truly a blessing and an example of endurance and strength to me. Paul and I have decided to put our house up for sale and when it sells rent a place in St. George and both commute back and forth while I spend a year or so in hair school and I can't help but wonder if now is not the right time. I know we need to do it sooner rather than later but I hate doing something like that during a time where Max needs me the most. I am so thankful for a healthy boy and for family who is so helpful and willing and loving, and for a wonderful husband who is so grounded and helps me stay calm and realistic about decisions and life in general, So thank you everyone.

Stress levels are high today but I just read Elder Uchtdorf's talk from conference (Click Here) a couple weeks back and I know I will get through it and I just need to make time for the important things and put my trust in the Lord.

P.S. Sorry for the Babbling and all the grammatical errors I was typing fast and not in the mood to proof read.